The First Avengers
by myPARABATAIisbetterthanyours
Summary: When Toni Stark chooses Steve Rogers as the subject for her father's Operation: Rebirth, her once simple life is thrown into a violent, exciting war. She and Pepper Potts must now weave their lives into a overseas military camp and Toni finds herself desperately wanting to leave her mark. With Steve, can she? Fem!Tony, T for language, 40s AU w/ Bucky
1. Agent Stark

**AN: Hello hello hello. It's been a while, for those who follow me avidly. I haven't been on recently for school reasons, personal reasons and lack of motivation reasons. However, I've had this little gem stashed away for a rainy day and in washington right now, it's pouring. So I'm thinking this is gonna be a three to four parter. Most likely four because I have a few more intense events to cover. If you are one of my regulars or maybe you have read some of my stuff, you'll know I like- no, LOVE- Stoni. Fem!Tony and Steve are my number 2 spot in my OTP hall of fame, right next to Malec. So here's this, please enjoy and, because I love reading comments and seeing views R&R! (It really makes my day, a good comment can really pull me out of some of the deepest mind dumps or emotional lows, seriously!) THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!**

Chapter 1- Agent Stark

"Good morning ladies. My name is Toni Stark. I go by Agent Stark or Sir. I will not answer to Toni, Antonia or Miss." There was a terse silence in the yard save the sound of platoons doing PT. "Now let's get a few things straight; I am here to work along side Mr. Howard Stark, my father. I am also here to help my mother, Agent Peggy Carter. I am, however, an officer in this military- a superior to you- and I don't take bullshit." Someone in the lineup of men before her coughed and she shot them a look. "Now, go get some breakfast and then get in PT gear, we're running the loop." And with that she turned and walked back to the jeep where her mother was sitting beside where her father was.

"That was an... interesting speech," Howard said to no one in particular. Toni ignored the comment.

"You and Colonel Philips will be, along side Howard, making the final decision on the candidate, Toni, so we're really putting our trust in you dear," Peggy said, her red lips forming each word with a British influence.

"Do I get to train with them? Can I fire a gun?" Peggy narrowed her eyes and Toni decided not press her luck. "What are you going to be doing?" She asked instead, glancing up at her mother.

"Your mother's going to be taking an active roll in aiding Colonel Phillips on intel and special ops," Howard replied, shooting Peggy a look like 'I really wish you wouldn't'. "And come time, you will be aiding me and Dr. Erskine on the technical side. As for now, go get in your PT gear, Agent Stark. You've got some men to show up." A grin spread across Toni's lips. She kissed her father on the cheek and jogged off for her room, kicking her heels off upon arrival.

She reveled in PT. Loved wearing combat boots and shorts and a t-shirt. Someone had once told her that it was indecent, that a lady would never dress like that. Toni had merely looked down at her garb and shrugged.

"No _lady_ would ever dress like that. I'm a woman. There's a difference," she had said. "One marries, does house work and has kids. The other kicks ass." Needless to say her father had reprimanded her upon finding out.

She met the men out in the yard, she had donned a tank top with the Camp Lehigh emblem on the front and the shorts that were issued to the men. She watched as they stood at attention, one hand at their side and the other forming a salute

"At ease!" She called out. Each man relaxed, letting their arms fold loosely behind their backs and their legs spread slightly. It was one fluent motion save the stumbling, erratic movements of one very short, very frail young man at the end. "You! At the end!" She thrust a finger out the stumbling one which received a chorus of snickers from the other men. He stepped forward. "Name."

"Steven Grant Rogers," he replied, sounding slightly befuddled.

"Steven Grant Rogers huh? Why are you here Steven Grant Rogers?" She demanded, slowly easing her way down to him.

"I want to be the best of the best Agent."

"What?"

"I want to be the best of the best, sir!" He shouted. Toni eased back onto the balls of her feet.

"Then why are you stumbling in formation? If you can't stand in formation then you can't fight a war. If you can't stand in formation, you can't shoot Nazis. Do you want to kill some Krauts, Steven Grant Rogers?" She asked, sounding menacing as she clipped off each word in his name.

"No ma'am," he muttered in reply.

"What?" She found herself caught off guard by his answer, expecting a 'yes ma'am!' strangely that was not was she got.

"I don't want to kill men but I don't like bullies." She felt like someone had just thrown a knife at her, like that was a personal jab at her. She turned her nose up and spun on her heel.

"Back in line Rogers, let's fall out boys! We got some running to do!"

As she always did, she showed them what running was supposed to look like. They ran the loop three times, to the dismay of a few, and as they stumbled and vomited up their breakfast Toni jogged backwards. A few of the men shot her a dirty look but she shrugged them off. Way at the back of the pack was the boy Rogers, barely keeping up and very much out of formation. Toni caught it out of the corner of her eye and stopped running.

"Halt!" She shouted and every man did just that. Rogers doubled over, resting his hands on his knees and he tried to catch his breath. "See this flag pole here? See that flag. Not a man has ever been able to get it. You get me that flag then you can ride in the jeep with Agent Carter," Toni cried. Suddenly there was a mad scramble to get the flag, men stumbling over each other to climb the pole and retrieve the flag. It made Toni snicker at the thought of one these men trying to impress her mother. From the jeep Toni could feel her mother's glare, probably a raised eyebrow in there, but she didn't turn around.

After a time she found their struggles pitiful so she pulled her whistle out and blew, sounding the shrill instrument signifying order.

"Back in formation boys! You make me cringe!" And then Rogers was walking up to the pole, Toni did nothing to see what he would do. Rogers pulled the pin at the base and let the pole fall, upon such action he walked to the end of it and snatched the flag up. Silently, the boy walked over to the jeep and climbed into it with Toni's mother. Toni stared for a moment and then recovered herself. "Alright then, let's go cupcakes! We can't just lollygag!" And then they were jogging again, passing the jeep, and Toni saluted her mother and the Rogers kid then continued on.

Dusk had started its way across the sky, leaving Camp Lehigh in a graying haze. Toni walked through the camp, arms folding behind her back, taking in what had become of her. She was no longer the same little girl who had spent her childhood tinkering with tools rather than the dolls gifted to her by her grandmother, or the youth that argued with her math teacher about what was correct. She had lost that person, almost as if they'd been stripped away, and now she was fighting violently with society. Making her case that she was not a thing, not an object to be purchased. She had goals and now she was reaching them.

Lost in her thoughts she almost didn't notice as she passed Steven Grant Rogers. She almost didn't hear the quiet "ma'am" that came from his lips as he tipped his cap. Almost. She stopped and looked as he walked on, no doubt heading for the barracks.

"Private Rogers!" She called. He stopped, standing at attention. "You salute an officer of higher rank when passing," she snapped.

"Yes ma'am," he mumbled.

"At ease." There was a pause as she circled to in front of him. "Why join?" She asked.

"Ma'am?"

"Why join if you get berated like you do? Why join if you know you'll have to deal with officers like me?" He looked at her, figuring out a proper answer.

"I already told you ma'am, I don't like bullies." Toni sighed.

"Dismissed. Sleep well Private," she said and then continued her walk to her bunk. It was a walk spent in wonderful silence. Silence that allowed her to contemplate the choices. Most of the men, she decided, were to abrasive and shoot-first types. And, in mild horror, she realized that Rogers had been the most qualified based on the standards. _There has to be someone else._

"GRENADE!" Phillips shouted Toni snickered from the tailgate of the supply truck as the Colonel tossed the dummy grenade. Men scattered, a few leaping over sandbags to find shelter. One ran towards the grenade, stumbling over it and curling around it.

"Get back!" He screamed. Phillips chuckled but something in Toni told her that there was no one else. Rogers was officially overqualified. He was beyond ideal save for the lanky and undersized body he possessed along with the copious amounts of physical ailments.

"It's a dummy Rogers!" A man called and everyone started to regroup. As Rogers stood he started coughing and wheezing. Toni, unexpectedly, found herself as the first one to his side.

"Private Rogers?" She said hurriedly, in a hushed voice. He tried to wave her off. "Asthma," she breathed. "Do we have any injections for Private Rogers?" She snapped. Her mother was the second to Steve's side. She'd appeared out of practically nowhere, toting a thin syringe of adrenaline. They slid the shot into his arm and injected the hormone. It took a minute but he started breathing normally again, taking a gasp for air as his first breath.

"Escort Private Rogers to Med Bay, Agent Stark." Peggy said. Toni straightened up and started walking. Rogers didn't follow.

"I'm fine," he huffed, still gasping for breath.

"Yeah, sure. Let's go Private." Then she looked around at the other men, each one staring and some trying not to snicker. "I expect you in full gear, weapons too, by the time I return. We're running the loop!" She shouted and dragged Steve off, griping his arm tightly. As soon as they were out of sight of the witnesses to his attack he ripped free of her grasp.

"I'm fine Agent Stark!" And then he stopped, closing his eyes as took a few deep breaths.

"You have severe asthma, a family history of diabetes, color-blindness, high blood pressure and a long list of others. You are _not_ fine Private," she grumbled, turning to face him.

"I can do what every single one of those men can do, but I may go slower. I'm not perfect, no human is. Take away my dignity if you want but I am still a soldier and I can fight just like them." And then he was making for the barracks, obviously wanting to join in for the run. Toni watched him go, she didn't know why, but she just let her eyes follow the tiny figure make for the bunkhouse. She found herself remembering what she'd told her parents back when the troop ships were starting for England.

_"__Gimme a gun and I can do some real work, but you can't keep me cooped up here. I can do what every single one of those men can do, I can do it faster too. Let me be like mom."_

"He's our man," Dr. Erskine said. Howard shrugged, running a hand through the back of his hair. "Agent, what do you suppose?" Toni nodded, not eagerly so it didn't seem like she approved as much as she did.

"Yes Doctor, I think it's a fine choice. Just so long as this serum of yours works then he should evolve nicely." Phillips, disgruntled, grumbled something.

"Colonel?" Dr. Erskine asked.

"He's a twig, Doctor! Are you sure you want a twiggy performing these trials?" Erskine just smiled and winked.

"Why don't you go get the boy Ms. Stark," Erskine proposed and Toni nodded. As she passed her father she kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll be back in a minute," she said and left the lab. As she walked out Peggy walked in and approached Howard's side.

"She going to get Steven?" She asked, her British accent filling the room. Howard visibly relaxed as she leaned an elbow on his shoulder. He nodded. "Well I've got the press all prepared, I've scheduled a PR meeting with three newspaper for you me and Dr. Erskine. Oh, and her friend Virginia rang, says she's stopping by," Peggy told them. Howard just nodded and looked out over the intricate lab that he was now in charge of.

Toni watched Steve enter the car with pursed lips. He squirmed slightly to find a comfortable position and flashed Toni a weak smile. She did not return it. The drive was spent mainly in silence, occasionally filled with Steve pitifully pointing out places he'd been beaten up in.

"You got beaten up a lot," Toni commented, looking out on the damp city outside. He shrugged.

"I pick fights, I told you I don't like bullies." Toni rolled her eyes.

"Bet that caused Mama Rogers a load of trouble." Steve looked over at her. "And you? Why do you have such a problem with fitting into society's idea of a woman?" She opened her mouth to say something snappy and then closed it, furrowing her brow and looking over at him. He was right; they were both on the same side.

"You're so... aggravatingly proud for such a little thing. How do you pack it all in there?" She snapped. Steve shook his head.

"No, not proud. Just passionate. Like you."

When the car eased to a stop it was in front of a sad looking antique store. The two walked in and were met by an old woman.

"Lovely weather we're having," she commented. Steve watched with a confused expression.

"Yes but I always carry my umbrella." Toni replied, just like her mother had shown her.

Steve had not been expecting the secret back room that turned out to be the lab. He had not been expecting the set up inside the lab. These two facts made Toni smile because he looked so surprised when they walked in. She could only envision, though, the pain that would undoubtedly ensue during this procedure. She looked away from the kid and led him down to the bottom tier of the lab.

The whole process was a blur to her really, excitement had clouded her memory and she really only remembered the part where Steve had told them to keep going, no doubt through grinding teeth. Her father shouting things, Erskine hesitantly continuing, Col. Phillips staring with baited breath, it had all blurred and felt like seconds to her. And then Erskine opened the casket that held Steve.

The once tiny figure was now huge, had rippling muscles and what had been an overly large hospital dress was now perfectly tailored to his body. He was at least half a foot taller, probably more, and looked well proportioned.

Toni scurried her way down the stairs to where Steve was, cursing her father for insisting she wear a skirt and heels. Steve's eye caught on her, she could tell, and she rushed up to him. She had to take at least half of her attention away from Steve so she could focus on not reaching out to touch his now muscular body, to poke the new serratus anterior muscles on his sides. The fact that science had given him this new shell was unbelievable to her. Steve was watching her, she realized, so she straightened up and met his gaze.

"How do you, erm, feel Private?" She asked. He looked slightly shocked but looked down at himself.

"Well, taller for starters," he replied. Toni tried not to laugh.

"Your last name ought to be Obvious," she replied, biting her tongue after. Steve cracked a smile, licking the left corner of his lower lip. "If you don't mind, I'd like to get a blood sample and later today perhaps we can do some preliminary tests on the limits your muscles can take, if you're okay with that," she said, biting back excitement. Steve just shrugged.

"Sure. You seem... eager." She chuckled.

"Understatement, my dear Watson." Steve smiled, glancing down as she stuck a syringe in his arm. "I've been thrilled for this since day one, I've always wanted to work with my father, follow in his footsteps. This is a way to do that and help the war effort, I do what I can, and you do what you can. If you'll excuse me, you clearly have a line-up of enthusiastic spectators." She pulled the syringe of blood from his arm/

She forced herself to step back because as close as she was, she was afraid that she was going to end up pressing her palms against his practically inflated chest. She wondered if this was how men though of women suddenly. And then she was forced farther from Steve because the crowd of political figures had swarmed him.

Then a gunshot rung out and panic reigned.

Toni looked up just in time to see Erskine collapse and a man to take off with a vial of serum. She locked eyes with Steve and then he was out and after the man. Toni stayed just long enough to see her mother grab Erskine then toss her a gun.

"Go get the bastard!" She cried.

She was out the door in seconds, following Steve out.

Erskine, Howard said, died of the shock and blood loss. Steve got the guy, but only found out the name 'HYDRA' which was of no help, since they had no information on it. And then, to top it all off, the Senator Somethingoranother swept Steve off to the stage.

She'd been able to talk to him once before he went of the Capitol Hill goon. It'd been burned into her head.

"You should be out there, fighting," She grumbled.

"I could say the same to you."

"Don't Steve. You, the serum, that's been my dream. And now that it works I can't continue. Don't do this to me, please Steve. You're everything I've- we've- been working for, don't do this- you're so much more than a piece of entertainment," she had pleaded. Steve shook his head.

"The Colonel doesn't want me Agent, we-"

"That's bullshit Rogers; you are the most dedicated soldier I've ever seen. Erskine told you not to forget who you are, so don't. Help us, help me." Steve stared at her for a minute, searching her face.

"I've got to go. Thank you for everything Agent Stark," he mumbled finally.

"Oh please, you know you can call me Toni." She sighed in defeat and then looked up at him once more. "We expected big things from you Steve."

Toni found herself in England next, and lost count of the men that went out and never came back, stopped caring when Steve left and Erskine died because her mother was suddenly detached and her father was no longer allowing her near his experiments. Only Pepper could make her feel better.

It was a Sunday, the Aldbourne camp's day off, when Pepper showed up, toting a small bag and a wide smile. Pepper shock of bright orange hair was a relief to Toni. She hadn't even known that her best friend was coming to the base, and was surprised that Col. Phillips and her parents even allowed it. They spent the next week meandering through London after taking a train into the city, taking in all the glory, never having experienced, much less without men.

Then word came through that Captain America was going overseas to try and support the troops. Her parents, the S.S.R. and apparently she were going to a post on the French-Austrian border one week ahead of the _Captain_. Somehow, she could never figure it out, she conned her parents into letting Pepper come too.

She hadn't seen Steve face-to-face in almost one month, and now she was forcing on a smile and introducing Pepper to him. She'd spent all week telling Pepper about how he'd abandoned the cause to go be a showgirl. Pepper was still excited. Especially when Toni introduced her with her full name.

"So you were how tall before the serum?" Pepper asked, shaking Steve's hand.

"Five four, and ailment-riddled," Steve said, a small... cute smile on his- Toni shook her head slightly, realizing what she was thinking. Steve had alienated himself from her the moment he left the S.S.R. to go dance on stage.

"Anyways, Steve this is Pepper, Pepper, Steve," Toni grumbled and then she swung her arm around Pepper's shoulders. Pepper flashed her a grin.

"It's nice to meet you Ms. Potts." Pepper turned to Toni, grinning wildly now, and whispered, "He called me Ms. Potts." Toni just smirked and turned back to Steve.

"Well see you around Captain," Toni said, turning with Pepper and leaving his presence.

"Oh my God he's huge!" Pepper muttered shrilly. Toni forced back a smile.

"You're a goofball." Pepper narrowed her eyes.

"I am not! He's ginormous." Toni shrugged and stared on at the path ahead of them. Pepper looked at her. "Do you like him? Is that why you're so angry he left?" She asked. Toni gave her a horrified look and shook her head rapidly.

"No! God no! I- he- the Doctor- he left us! I'm pissed because we need him! He's an experiment dammit, a test built to help the government and the war effort, enough Pepper." Pepper bit back a teasing smile.

"We or you?"

"WE! Come on, I wanna go to the woods, I hate his little 'performances'." Toni snapped. Pepper pushed her lower lip out.

"Aww but Toni! I haven't seen one, come on, just one more show," Pepper pleaded. Toni shook her head.

"Nuh uh, if you want to see him then go on, but me, I'm going to the woods and ignoring that bastard." Pepper's grin reappeared. "No! No! Quit! I do not like him!" And then she found herself in the woods. She didn't know for how long, just that she lost track of the time out there. She got lost, staring out at the other hundreds of trees, wishing she could be out fighting.

A sudden thought dawned on her, an aggravating one. _Steve_ had only wanted to go out and fight the good fight, wanted to protect his country. It dug at her that they were not that different, in a way. They even had their respective 'handlers' per say. Steve had briefly mentioned this Bucky Barnes on the ride to the experiment, the one who always pulled him out of fights. And Toni had Pepper. She chewed her lip as she lay in the bark and dirt. Both fought against the grain.

When the drops of rain hit her lips and forehead, tasting of pine and smelling of that fresh rain smell, Toni finally left her place there. She meandered back to camp, hoping to find Pepper somewhere. No such luck, save for finding Steve. He was behind to stage, sitting on some boxes in a dry area. Toni, holding her jacket over her head, walked over. Steve was drawing, and as she got closer she saw what; a monkey, holding an umbrella and riding a unicycle. _Personal dancing monkey_. She couldn't help but think about Steve's potential, what he was supposed to do.

"You weren't supposed to be their monkey, you know," she said, surprising him. He looked back at her as she pulled her jacket back on. She could suddenly feel her mother's freedom red lipstick burning on her lips. "There was supposed to be a whole army of you, you were just the beginning." He sighed.

"And here I am, subject one- and only."

"If you wanna fight, then fight Steve. You don't have to stay here and be this... show girl."

"I think it's a little late for that, don't you agree?" Toni bit her lip, debating what to say next, but was interrupted by the sound of marching. They both looked up. Worn, broken soldiers came marching in. Steve furrowed his brow but Toni recognized them, her mother had a personal hand in the infantry's well-being. She sighed. "They look awful." Steve muttered. Toni nodded.

"These ones have really faced some of the worst, definitely more than most. 107th's as good a team of enlisted men as any volunteer team," she replied. Steve looked up.

"The 107th?" He asked. She nodded. He was up and running through the crowd in a flash. Toni followed after him.

"Steve!" She cried as they pushed through the tired men. She heard him, barely, asking around for a name... she realized it had to be the Bucky guy. Just as soon as she figured it out, she too was pushing through them, shouting the man's name.

"Barnes? Sergeant Barnes?" She called, remembering his rank. Finally someone stopped her.

"Miss, I don't know the serg personally but if he made it then he's here, if not he's either captured or dead." Toni's chest felt heavy, fear washing over her for Steve. She could only imagine if this was Pepper. She nodded, turned and started pushing towards Steve.

"Steve! Steve! Follow me! We've got to check with the Colonel, he'll know!" She called. Steve nodded and they burst out of the gaggle of men.

"You didn't find him did you?" He asked. She shook her head.

"One guy in there though said if Barnes made it out then he's here somewhere, but Phillips can tell us for sure."

Toni stood behind Steve the entire time, trying to look tough and menacing, as he asked the Colonel if he knew anything about Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. Phillips just stared up at him for a while, right until Steve tried to spell out Bucky's last name.

"I can spell," he said, abruptly interrupting Steve. He sighed, pushing himself out of his chair. He picked up a stack of papers. "I've signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count, but..." Toni breathing eased to a stop as she felt her lungs and heart and stomach and throat freeze over. "The name does sound familiar. I'm sorry. Really." Toni prepared to walk out with Steve, prepared to console the goliath himself. She was stopped by his voice cutting through her thoughts.

"What about the others?" Steve demanded. Toni looked up, wide-eyed. Speaking out of turn in the military could mean Courts Martial. She bit her tongue, watching Steve in disbelief. "Are you planning a rescue mission?" Toni's heart dropped, not only was his ass about to get handed to him, but no doubt he was going to face disciplinary actions.

"Yeah, Captain, it's called winning the war," Phillips growled, straightening up and staring Rogers down.

"But if you know where they are, why not do-"

"Those men are thirty miles behind the lines, through some of the most fortified territory in Austria, maybe Europe. We'd lose more than we'd save; those are men we could be sending out to somewhere like Belgium. I don't expect you to understand that because you're a chorus girl." Steve had clenched his jaw and was glaring back at Phillips.

"No sir, I understand just fine."

"Well then understand it somewhere else; if I read the posters correctly then you've got someplace to be in thirty minutes," Phillips finished, turning to accept some papers from a runner.

"Yes sir, I do." Toni could hear the steel in his tone, her heart dropped, he had a plan.

"What are you thinking Private Rogers?" She demanded, storming after him. He stopped and turned to face her.

"You're always where I seem to be. Thank you, for helping me with everything, but this time you can't be where I am," he said. Fury flared up inside her, glinting in her eye.

"Wherever you're going I can go too!" Toni stated, staring at him with her arms crossed.

"Toni, this could get me a Court Martial and potentially shot, what I'm doing is a direct disregard for the orders I've been given. I can't drag you into that."

"At least let me get you prepared," she conceded. He sighed and nodded.

When the two met up again, Steve had hijacked one of the cancan girls' helmet and a handgun. Toni glanced at his weapon and then shook her head.

"No, take mine." She forced a gun into his hand, a Luger. He looked at it in disbelief.

"Toni, this is a nice gun, I don't know if I can get it ba-"

"Just make it back and have my gun, no being a hero or anything," she instructed. Steve just stared at her silently. "Come on Steve, you've gotta go before they find you. I got my dad to agree to fly you and my mom insisted on going too so if you get them killed then you are in so much trouble." Steve nodded. "Alright, don't forget, bring me back my gun alright. And this Bucky kid, I wanna meet him."

"So you helped him commit mutiny, sedition, desertion, and willfully disobeying an officer of higher rank," Pepper said, pulling her blanket tighter around herself. Toni hissed a 'shhhh' at her.

"Don't say it out loud, Phillips doesn't know it was me and he has no idea where Rogers is!" She whispered fiercely. "How do you know all that anyways?" Pepper pulled a book out from under her bed.

"Military conduct, I was bored on the flight. Anyways, you know those crimes are punishable by death right? And that you could be found guilty of them too?" Toni shot her a look.

"Quit, I'm already worried enough!" Toni spat. Pepper put her hands up in defeat.

"Sorry, sorry." Then Toni saw her annoying grin start to spread across her face.

"I don't like him!" And with that Toni grabbed her pillow, pulled it taught over her head and tried to ignore the grin that was no doubt still spread on Pepper's lips.

It was a week over pacing around back and forth, listening to Phillips repeat that 'I'm going to have to declare him M.I.A. and sooner or later, K.I.A.' and of course the looks from her parents. She hated waiting.

And then she heard the stirring about camp as she was walking for Phillips' 'office'. She looked up in time to see a huge column of men approaching, with tanks and battered faces, all led by Captain America himself. Toni's breathing picked up and she found herself running towards the men. And then she saw Steve smile when he caught sight of her. She slowed to a stop, her eyes wide and breathing accelerated.

There was a battered and beaten man next to Steve is the ratty remains of combat gear. He was tall-ish with a shock of unruly dark brown hair and shining blue-green eyes. Even given his physical state, as the crowd gathered, he looked around and then shouted, "Let's hear it for Captain America!" And then Toni found herself in the middle of it all.

"Got my gun?" She hummed quietly. Steve smiled and pulled it out from the back of his belt looped around his leather jacket. She could feel the side-glances from who she could only assume was Bucky Barnes.

"Saved my life countless times," he replied, still smiling. Toni kept their gazes fixed together.

"A little ironic don't you think? A guy called Captain America running around killing Germans with a German gun in the name of America?" Steve's lips split in a quiet laugh.

"Yeah, a little." Then the guy next to Steve cleared his throat.

"Gonna introduce me Steve?" He asked smoothly. Toni looked over.

"You must be Sergeant Barnes? Nice job getting yourself captured," Toni said, eyebrow raised. Bucky meet her gaze with a slick smile.

"If I hadn't gotten captured then Steve would've never rescued all these guys. You arguing?" He asked. Toni pursed her lips.

"This _is_ Bucky Barnes, right Steve?" Steve nodded. Toni looked back at the tattered companion of Captain America. "Alright then Sergeant, maybe I'll see you at the pub in town tonight." Bucky's lips stretched into a wild grin which he flashed at Steve. "Will I be seeing you at the pub tonight?" She continued, turning to Steve. He looked over at Bucky.

"Apparently I've got a date with Phillips but if he gets me home early enough then maybe," he replied. Toni pulled her lips together in an attempt to force down a smile.

"Need a ride to this date?" He shook his head.

"Looks like he's coming to me," Steve answered, nodding towards the sound of a grumbling Colonel.

"I wish you luck." Steve turned to Phillips.

"Sir, I'd like to turn myself in for disciplinary action, I-"

"That won't be necessary son," Phillips barked, cutting Steve off. Steve glanced over at Toni who merely shrugged.

"Yes sir."

Toni straightened the dress she was wearing; a red and black rockabilly swing dress. She turned to Pepper.

"Yes?" She asked, inflecting the end of the word unsurely. Pepper grinned.

"You look great Toni! And me?" She replied, twirling in her blue silk halter dress. Toni gave her a look.

"Peps, you look amazing in _anything_, why even ask?" Pepper shot her a look.

"And you don't?"

"Not like you. Come on, let's go," Toni grabbed her friend by the hand and they left their tent. They climbed into a jeep parked outside and Toni drove them towards town. They were late, by the men's standards, for the party- but as Pepper had said, you can't rush perfection.

When they parked outside the pub, already dark out, Toni pulled out her mother's lipstick and put some on her lips. Pepper walked up and interlaced their hands, smiling. They walked into the pub, let go of each other's hands, and tried to look intimidating. Apparently it worked, but their only proof was the silence that fell.

Toni looked around at all the men in the pub, clearly all American. She smiled innocently and continued through towards the other room.

"Want something?" Pepper asked.

"A scotch Peps, I'll be in the other room." Pepper nodded and walked up to the bar.

Toni walked into the room to find Steve and Bucky sitting at the bar directly next to the door. They were laughing so she took the moment to push herself up against the archway, leaning on her shoulder.

"Private Rogers," she said, over their laughing. Steve spun around, surprised to see Toni, much less in a dress. Bucky turned to look too, starring at her.

"Agent Stark," Steve replied. Toni winked and Bucky fell back onto his stool. Steve swung his arm into Bucky's stomach, making him grunt and Toni smirk.

"Told you that you might see me here." Then Pepper walked in, carrying two scotches, and Bucky slid forward, grabbing the bartop behind him. Pepper just kind of stared awkwardly at him. "Sergeant Barnes, this is Virginia Potts, I call her Pepper." She reached back and nudged Pepper forward towards Bucky. Toni sidled into the seat next to Steve, who still looked a little shocked.

"So I hear you're getting your own team," she said.

"Yeah, James Montgomery Falsworth, Gabe Jones, Jim Morita, Dum Dum Dugan, Jacques Dernier and Bucky. We're thinking the name Howling Commandos fits." Toni smiled.

"It does."

"Thanks again, for the Luger and all the help. Your parents didn't try to stop me once," he told her. On his other side she could hear Pepper laughing. She thought about the gun on her dresser; she'd gotten it off a German officer that had come riding through the camp- bastard didn't know where he was going. She wanted so bad to use it, but under her father's watchful eye that wasn't going to be happening any time soon.

And of course here was Steve and for once she trusted someone other than Pepper. Maybe it was that he'd come back with both the Luger and Bucky and of course the veritable army he'd rescued. Maybe it was just that she'd wanted him to succeed so badly that when she did it just confirmed something she already knew. Either way, she trusted Steve and that was foreign to her.

"I've been thinking, under my care it doesn't see a lot of combat. You ought to keep it. But at the end of the war, you gotta get it back to me right?" Steve nodded.

"Definitely." She took a swig of her scotch and stared at the far wall.

"You any good at dancing Private?" Toni asked, turning back to him. He furrowed his brow.

"Actually it's Captain now and-"

"Don't care, you'll always be Private Rogers to me."

"-And no, I do not dance." Toni grinned manically. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him up, backing towards an open space in the room. "Toni-?"

"Come on soldier boy, we're gonna dance. People say I'm the best teacher." She looked behind herself and winked at the man sitting by the jukebox, tossing him a quarter. The man slid it in the jukebox and a swing beat started up. Toni looked back at Steve. "Good news, I love this song." Steve didn't look reassured.

"Toni, I'm gonna embarrass myself," he hissed under his breath. She laughed loudly.

"That's half the fun Rogers."

Bucky turned around in his seat to watch Steve stumble over himself as he tried to keep up with Toni. He had a good time laughing at the punk. Beside him Pepper was laughing too. From the bar, he heard Toni shout, "Flip me!" Steve's jaw dropped.

"What?!" He cried.

"Now! Come on Private!" Steve grabbed her by the waist and flipped her under his arm and over his shoulder, all while holding a look of pure terror. Toni was laughing like a maniac, a grin spread wide across her face. The entire room was alight with laughter.

Bucky realized that it'd been a long time since he'd laughed. He liked the feel of it.

Toni was sitting at her desk in the underground bunker they'd commandeered from the Germans. They'd refurbished it into a lab for Howard and herself and a intel H.Q. for the rest of the 107th.

Boredom had drowned her and she resigned herself to sitting in her chair, reading through boring papers. She was distracted, though, by the thought of dancing with Steve the previous night. She sighed and dropped the papers on her desk.

Steve swung around the corner then, looking smart in his dress suit, as was custom for the off-duty men. He caught her out the corner of his eyes and stopped, turning to face her.

"Agent Stark," he said, flashing her a small smile. She stared at him. It aggravated her in a good way that he was always wherever she was for some reason- or vis versa.

"Private Rogers," she answered. "Thanks for last night." He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Forgive my dancing skills, they're lacking." Toni smiled and stood.

_Stupid._

She motioned for him to come closer to her.

_Don't do it._

Steve was close to her now, close enough for her to feel his excessive warmth.

_He'll cut you from the research._

She eased her lips onto his gently and kissed him, slowly- slower than she'd ever kissed anyone before. She could tell it'd shocked Steve.

_You deserve the punishment you get._

Toni was surprised to find Steve kissing back, just as slow, and she parted his lips. Toni wondered if he'd ever kissed anyone like that, or even kissed anyone at all. Then her mother rounded to shelves that created a barrier. She cleared her throat.

Steve practically jumped five feet from Toni, leaving nothing between her and her mother's glare.

"Agent Stark, you're father's asking for you and you as well Captain Rogers," Peggy said, keeping her eyes fixed on Toni and red lips pursed. Toni started towards her father's lab area when her mother stopped her, letting Steve continue. "I won't tell your father because I know him and you do too and we both know what he'd think of that but I want you to think about it before you dive in with Rogers. He's a hero, dear, and heroes get themselves killed." Toni glared at her mother.

"I know what I'm doing," she snapped, pushing past her.

When she got to Howard, Steve had picked up a circular, silver shield. Toni stopped in her tracks and just kind of stared. Steve had a goofy grin on, one that made her angry- mainly because of her mother's warning.

"What do you think?" He asked expectantly. Toni pulled out her gun and fired four rounds at the shield. Steve braced as she did, clearly not expecting that assault. When she lowered her gun she was satisfied to find it held quite nicely, not even denting. That shield could just keep him alive.

"Yes, I think it will work wonderfully," she replied curtly and left the two's presence.

"So you and Bucky hit it off then?" Toni asked. Pepper nodded.

"He's taking me to dinner tonight, Phillips gave him a twenty-four hour pass," Pepper replied. Toni stared at the tent ceiling, listening to the sound of training outside. "And you and Steve? No more denying it to me, not after that dancing stunt." Toni sighed.

"I dunno, we had a moment in the bunker- just a kiss," she murmured. "I think he and the Howling Commandos are going out on a mission in a bit." There was a pause. "I can't stand being here and doing nothing. It's so boring Pepper," she whined. Pepper turned and looked at her, pinning in an earring.

"Then why don't you go fight?"

"You know why. Paps says no way any daughter of mine is going out into combat," Toni growled, mimicking a crotchety old man voice. Pepper laughed.

"Want to come to dinner with Bucky and I? Come on, you and Steve and Bucky and me... it'd be awful cute. Do you know how great this is Toni? You and I, best friends, are dating two best friends. Toni, stop moping and feel great with me. Come on, up and at 'em!" As she finished there was the sound of Steve's voice outside.

"Toni, you in there? I have a couple questions I need to ask you," he called. Toni gave Pepper a look and stepped outside. Steve was standing, straightened to full height, at ease as she came out. Toni snickered.

"What is it Rogers?" She asked. He looked at her.

"Walk with me? That's one," he said. Toni raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're slick Rogers, I'll give you that."

They ended up strolling through her woods- she'd claimed them some time ago- in silence. There was a couple glances up on her part, wondering when his second question would come. She sighed, feeling the cool Austrian air around her.

"There are some HYDRA bases just north of the border here, and me and the Howling Commandos are going to take it out tomorrow. Is there any way that you'd be free tonight? I want to take you to dinner before I leave," he said, coming to a stop. Toni thought about her evening, nothing but that mildly important test with the serum recreation her father needed a partner for.

She closed her eyes and took a breath to clear her head.

_This is stupid. Mom's right._

"Come around seven to get me," she answered, wanting to bang her head against a tree immediately after saying it. He nodded. "But only if you kiss me." Steve looked taken aback which made her grin. "Relax boy scout." She stood up on her tip toes and pulled Steve low enough so she could kiss him. It was still slow, but distracting enough for her to back towards a tree without Steve noticing. She pinned herself between the trunk and Steve. He smelled, she realized, distinctly of pine needles and soap.

She felt her hand on the side of his face, thumb underneath his chin. Her breathing evened out to a slow, steady balance. She could feel his heart against her, thumping rapidly. Then he eased back.

"Toni, I don't wa-"

"To go too fast, I know. Alright Private, seven it is."

Toni made her way back to her tent, Steve having had to go in the opposite direction, feeling like someone had shocked her lips with a battery or something. She wondered how she was going to explain that to Pepper.

When she returned, she was surprised to find Bucky exiting her tent. A maniacal grin broke out across her face. Bucky turned around just in time to se her walking towards him with a scary smile.

"Agent Stark," he said, tipping the brim of his cap. Toni rolled her eyes.

"Smooth is gonna get you nowhere with Pepper, she doesn't take shit... And I'm afraid that's all you're full of." Bucky searched her face, scanning her with his eyes. She winked which made him raise an eyebrow.

"Really? Because she seems pretty charmed." Toni snorted, grabbed the boy by the arm and hauled him away from the tent.

"Look, Sergeant, I've known that girl since my dad started up Stark Industries. She is the daughter of a former assistant. If I say smooth ain't gonna work, then smooth ain't gonna work. Sincerity will though, sincerity and honesty. Do you know how many men she's turned away because she didn't like their attitude? So drop the act tonight and take that girl dancing, she hasn't had a good dance partner in years," Toni snapped. Bucky eyed her warily.

"What makes you think I'm a good dancer?"

"Please, you're Mr. Sly, if you're not a good dancer then Hitler's marching down here right now personally surrender," she laughed. Bucky sighed in defeat.

"Alright, where should I take her?" Toni gave him a look, eyebrow raised.

"How should I know Sergeant? This is Austria." She left him standing in the center of the camp, heading back for her tent. She wished she could tag along and watch Peps dance, maybe get flipped over Bucky's shoulder like she'd gotten flipped over Steve's.

_"__Flip me!"_

_ "__What?!"_

_ "__Now! Come on Private!"_

She shook the thought from her head entered the tent. Inside Pepper was sitting on their dresser reading a book. Toni smiled to herself, Pepper never failed to make her do that.

"He's taking you dancing," Toni said, clearing her throat. Pepper looked up from her book. "So wear something you can swing in." Pepper flashed her a quick smile, it didn't last.

"You okay?" Toni nodded, not wanting to have to tell her that the Howling Commandos first mission was tomorrow. It would either go well or very poorly. She nodded again, deciding Bucky could tell Pepper when they were going. "What'd Steve want?" Peps asked finally, wiggling her eyebrows. Toni snickered and threw a pillow at the flame-haired dame.

"You're insufferable!" She said, falling back on the bed.

"Are you gonna tell me?" Pepper continued urging. Toni pushed herself forward and leaned back against the canvas 'wall'.

"Nothing, just had some questions for me." Toni didn't want to share her moment with Steve, not even with Pepper. Instead she let her mind wander to what the Commandos would be facing and how bad the scenario could get.

"You gonna come with us tonight?" Pepper asked, finally breaking the silence. Toni shook her head, thinking of Steve asking her to dinner.

"Nah, I've got a test to help my father with." Pepper nodded and returned to her book.

"What was Bucky doing in here anyways?"

"What? Oh, he was... uh-"

"Come on Peps, I told Steve and I kissed, now what was he doing in here?" Toni grumbled, flipping her other pillow in the air.

"Nothing inappropriate I swear. I'd asked him to come say hi. You were gone for a half an hour so he stopped in. We were just talking I promise," Pepper replied. Toni nodded.

Overseas was not as fun as either had hoped, there wasn't much to do or see and neither could grab a gun and go shoot some Nazis. The only good part, Toni decided, was Steve and having Pepper there to share in her misery. And the occasional test that her father needed her for. But here she was, blowing off her father so she could go eat dinner with Steve.

_I told you no._

She wondered how angry her father would be when he found out that she was skipping out on him.

_Bye-bye science, daddy's gonna freeze you out._

The only consolation was the electric feeling that sparked on her lips whenever Steve's name passed through her mind.

_But Private Rogers..._

She felt the warring sides of her mind begin to battle.

_But your career..._

_What career? I'm only ever an assistant._

Toni opened her eyes and stared up, gritting her teeth a little. Was it really fair that she had to have two conflicting points of view, one of them being extremely, _extremely_ good-looking in his dress uniform?

Seven rolled around and Pepper had been gone for half and hour. Somewhere she was laughing and smiling with Steve's best friend. Steve showed up exactly three minutes late and in twenty-seven minutes, her father would be looking for her. He was in said dress uniform, cap under his arm. Toni couldn't help but comment to herself that he did look rather dashing.

He took her in the opposite direction of the small Austrian town, which perplexed her. They spent the first fifteen minutes of their walk in silence, Toni constantly checking her watch or looking down at the shoes or glancing out at the direction they were heading.

"Private Rogers, I-"

"I may have misled you Agent Stark," he said, glancing down at her. "I was planning on telling you when I asked you to come out tonight but I thought it would be better this way. I heard your parents talking a while back, saying you were complaining about never getting to go out of the camp unless it was into town with Pepper. There's a lake about a half mile ahead and I thought you would want to see it. I apologize if you were expecting-"

"Don't, this is perfectly fine Private." He looked down at her, her gaze fixed ahead, and smirked a little. She hadn't been wrong; he'd always be Private Rogers to her.

They reached the lake after another fifteen minutes, and in the setting sun it shone in a vivid array of pinks and oranges and blues and yellows. Toni just stared, watching the light reflect off its surface. She caught Steve glancing down at her once but he redirected his gaze fairly quickly. As the light show continued Toni wondered if she should take his hand or something.

The top of the daystar was reaching the horizon now, threatening to engulf the world with night. The display of nature made Toni breath hitch in her throat. She watched with wide eyes and serenity in her mind.

"I'm glad we made it out here before the sun set, that was what I really wanted you to see," she heard Steve murmured.

"Thank you," was all she could manage to say.

She'd had boys take her to the movies, or dinner, or a show, but she'd never had a guy take her to just watch the lights. She'd never had a moment with someone, save Pepper, where they just sat back and enjoyed the peace of the calm in silence.

She suddenly thought of her parents, Howard meeting her mother because of Stark Industries and being the U.S. and England's weapons tycoon. Agent Carter, she had been. Toni found herself wondering how they fell in love and if it was slow and steady or sudden and star-crossed, either way her parents loved each far more than she'd ever expect.

"We can go whenever you want, I just wanted to show you that," Steve said, interrupting the silence.

"Do you want to go?" She asked, turning to look a him. He shrugged.

"Not particularly."

"Good." She leaned back on the log behind them and watched as the stars and moon started to shine out.

She lost track of time, as usual when she was out to enjoy the serenity. At some point the sky grew black and the stars twinkled bright and the moon shone but she hadn't the slightest idea of the time. Part of her was snickering at her father, alone in his lab instead of out in the night. That same part also noticed that she'd never actually spent a date in silence the entire time.

"Steve?" She murmured, fearing he'd drifted off to sleep.

"Yeah?" Came his voice.

"What was it like, defeating your bullies?" She heard Steve's head move against the log so as to look at her.

"I don't really remember a lot of it, just that I got Bucky out. It was all kind of an adrenaline-fueled blur," he answered. She nodded, her eyes fixed on one particularly dim star. "You want to fight don't you?"

"You can't say you don't know me," she joked half-heartedly. She heard Steve sigh.

"Unfortunately no," he whispered back. There was a long pause.

"I'm all about physicality, there's not a subtle bone in my body Steve. I don't know how to be around you," she muttered softly.

"Well then we're equals in this because I've never even kissed someone before. New territory, Miss Stark."

"When do you leave tomorrow?" She asked finally. Steve shrugged.

"Probably early, I think we're going for cover of dark but we want a early start so its dark when we get there," he replied.

"You're not flying in?" He shook his head.

"This one's thirty-five miles northeast, we're driving."

"And you're gonna have that Luger of mine when this is all over right?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Don't call me ma'am; it makes me feel like a housewife."

"Yes sir."


	2. Howling Commandos and a Dame

**Hello again! First off, I apologize for any and all grammar mistakes, I usually read through a couple of times but it never gets completely fixed... *sigh*. Second off, tada; part 2! Third off; thank you to our first reviewer! Muchly appreciated and as an answer to your question: I will reveal nothing for my plot plans but this chapter may give you a pretty good idea as to the coming events. Finally thanks again and do enjoy, this one took a little longer than normal and a lot of edits, thanks to Vendelyn Silverhawk btws for that! So enjoy and R&R!**

Chapter 2- Howling Commandos... and a Dame

Pepper sat on her bed, an angry expression reigning on her face.

"So you're leaving me?"

"No, I'm going to help Steve. There's a difference, in one scenario I get killed, in the other I save _Steve_ from getting killed," Toni answered. Pepper pursed her lips.

"But you're leaving camp to go take down a HYDRA base. Does Steve know?"

"Not yet, but look at it this way; if Bucky has a gun to his head I can save him," Toni retorted, stuffing something in a bag.

"Steve can do that." Toni looked back at Pepper and then returned to the mattress she was pushing up. Underneath the foam was an array of handgun and two rifles. She grabbed the rifles and two handguns. Pepper pursed her lips. "So when you're dad comes to me raging up a storm, I'm gonna catch the shit and you're gonna be out fighting?" Toni glanced back at her.

"Come on Peps, I'll be fine. This is important to me." Pepper sighed and then tossed Toni a leather jacket.

"Bucky gave that to me, you ruin it and I kill you. Especially since I know where you keep you gun stash now," she breathed, resigning. Toni smiled, flashing her bright white teeth, and stood. She pulled the jacket on, tucked her pant legs into her boot and grabbed her bag. All that was left were her weapons. She slung the rifles onto her back and tucked the handguns in the back of her pants.

"I'll be back soon, and so will this coat," she assured. Pepper sighed and watched Toni run out the tent.

She loved the freedom that the pants gave her, allowing her to run. Staying low to the ground, she made her way for the supply truck that would take the Howling Commandos a third of the way. It wouldn't be an enjoyable ride but there was a small nook in the undercarriage of the truck which she crawled up into and hung.

When the truck finally eased to a stop and she heard the Commandos climbing out, she waited till the truck started to back up to drop off. The truck drove harmlessly over her, the tires missing her, and then she rolled off to behind a tree. So far so good. She would go from tree to tree and peek out to see the boys trudging around, it made her snicker slightly; _what part of 'behind enemy lines' do you now understand boys?_

Then they stopped and Toni's heart skipped a beat.

A hand clamped around Toni's shoulder and swung her around the right side of the tree. In front of her, Falsworth was holding her against the tree. She reached behind her and put a hand on her Nagant.

"James wait!" Steve cried. Toni looked over at him, a mix of confusion, panic and rage was written on his face. "Toni?" He demanded. Toni shot him a sneer.

"Don't look at me like that, I told you yesterday that I was itching to fight," she spat. Steve stormed over, grabbed Toni by the arm and pulled her away from the Commandos. Toni could see Bucky from the corner of her eye smirking up a storm.

"What are you doing here?" He hissed. Toni ripped her arm free.

"I wanted to help, is there anything wrong with that?"

"Excluding the fact that you could get yourself killed?" He snapped back.

"So it's okay if you risk your life but when I do it it's suddenly a very horrible thing? This is ridiculous Steve! You already knew I wanted this, you should've known I'd try and come. You can't take this away from me." Steve stared at her. There was silence as they stared at each other, Toni's eyes challenging him to counter her. He stepped back, crossing his arms.

"Do those weapons of yours have ammo?" She nodded

"And a silencer for the Nagant M1895," she replied, pulling the revolver out. Steve sighed and scanned her face.

"Your parents are going to be _so_ pissed," he breathed. She smirked.

"Come on Private, we've got a HYDRA base to destroy."

...

Steve had been completely accurate; the battle was an adrenaline-fueled blur. It all meshed together, she realized. From the fight she could pick out shooting a 'bad guy' before he could shoot Morita, ramming into Bucky and going on a shooting rampage back-to-back, and leaping off a truck over Steve to kick a guy in the face. All in all, she thought afterwards, a good fight. And it ended with a light show; Dernier and Jones went running from the munitions factory screaming something and pointing towards the forest. Toni grabbed Dernier's shoulder.

"What is wrong with you two?" She demanded over the battle's noise.

"Nous avons truqué u-"

"We rigged a bomb Agent, let's move!" Jones finished. Bucky went barreling past, a wild grin on his face and a gun raging in his hand.

"Let's go boys!" He yelled over the gunfire. Toni just smiled and ran after him, Steve pulling up behind. As they gained distance the factory exploded. Even from the distance they'd reached, the explosion threw Toni back slightly and lit up the evening sky. Falsworth, Bucky and Dernier were all grinning like idiots. Toni looked over at Steve.

"What'dya think Private?" She asked. He looked at her with pursed lips, still upset over her joining them.

"I think that we still have two more locations to be at and when we get back if you're still alive then _I_ won't be when your dad sees me," Steve grumbled. Toni chuckled to herself.

"There is a reason they gave me the title of Agent, Private. I can fire a weapon, I'm pretty sure that fight can testify to that. Now if you wanna keep griping like a baby then that's fine. Or you can get over it and we can blow up two more factories, call it a day and get back to base." Steve gave her a look and then sighed.

"Alright fine. Come on, we've got half a day of walking to get over with."

...

The next to factories went by just like the first, but Toni insisted on helping to blow up the third. So Steve insisted Bucky take her in.

"Why'd you wanna do this?" He shouted, shooting a HYDRA grunt. Toni flashed him a knowing smile.

"Magicians never reveal their secrets," she replied. He rolled his eyes.

"Fucking seriously Toni!"

"Fine! I wanted-" she shot another grunt that was aiming for Bucky's head and hiding in a dark corner. Bucky spun around and nodded at her, acknowledging her aim. "I wanted to check the lab before we rig the bomb, there's probably some plans and designs in it, gimme ten minutes then we can blow it," Bucky shrugged.

"Lead the way Agent."

The lab was much farther back than she had planned and took a fair amount of ammo to get to but it did allow them to set more RDX at key points in the factories structure. Bucky swore to her that when- if- they got out Steve was going to have both their asses. He was probably right, but at least she was having fun. And when they got to the lab Bucky had to wait outside because he couldn't look at the strapped operating table and not freeze up. But the lab _was_ full of missile designs and several blaster designs along with a map containing the entirety of the underground HYDRA ops in Austria and Belgium. She stuffed them in her rucksack and ran out, grabbing Bucky's shoulder on the way out.

"Got what you wanted Agent?" He cried over the gunfire.

"Yep! Come on there's a side door, signal Steve and then we can blow this puppy!" Bucky slammed his fist into a box labeled _Einbruchemelde_. A bell started ringing shrilly and Bucky figured that would do the trick.

Outside, Toni could Steve's star spangled uniform running for the woods so she and Bucky made for the same direction, waiting for explosives to go off. Bucky looked back at the factory and started grinning as the initial explosion went off.

"Fuck yes!" He screamed. "FUCK YOU SCHMIDT!" Toni grinned.

"Fucking tell 'em Buck!" She called back to him. And then they regrouped with Steve and the others. They were all taking a breather; Morita was bent over, resting his elbows on his knees and panting hard and Dugan was leaning on a tree trying to catch his breath. Toni came jogging to a stop, still smiling from Bucky's outburst.

"What took you guys so long?" Steve panted.

"We stopped in the lab... important documents..." She huffed back.

"That was a damn fine explosion, better than the ones you rigged Jones," Bucky teased. Gabe sneered at him.

"At least we were fast Barnes, you guys took your fucking time. You should try to fist fight one of those huge ass HYDRA guys, it's fucking hard!" He snapped back, Bucky ignored him.

Steve pulled Toni off to the side.

"Toni you risked both of your lives, that was-"

"You told me in the car on the way to your procedure that you're 'just passionate' like me. I've got two things I can do right, Steve, science and shooting. I knew what I was doing and I knew what I was looking for. We're fine," she snapped.

"But you're not!" He shouted. Quiet fell and Toni could feel the eyes of the rest of the Commandos watching them. "Look at you Toni! You're bleeding and filthy and I know you broke your left middle and pointer fingers when you missed that HYDRA lackey's face yesterday! I wouldn't be surprised if you broke a rib yesterday too..."

There was a long pause as they stared each other down.

"What's the plan Captain?" She growled, finally breaking the deafening quiet.

"Head west-southwest for three miles then we'll set up camp and wait for Phillips to send his truck. Dernier, wanna radio him and tell him we're ready for pickup at the checkpoint?" Dernier nodded and Toni started walking, putting some distance between herself and Steve.

A pang of dismay fell on Steve as he realized what she'd called him.

...

Bucky walked over to Toni, slicing a wedge off an apple he'd nabbed from Falsworth. He offered the wedge to her which she took, grumbling a thank you. He stayed quiet for a moment and then sat down next to her. They were out of hearing distance from the others.

"If you two keep up like that then they're gonna think you guys are an old married couple," He said, glancing at her.

"Doesn't matter, I'm obviously not coming back out with you," she mumbled. He sighed, she was acting like tiny Steve when he had to bail the little twerp out of a fight.

"Fuck that, of course you're coming back out. Steve being protective over you doesn't mean he doesn't want you here, it just means he wants you safe Toni. Why wouldn't he? I mean just by the way he looks at you you can tell the punk likes you." Toni kept her head down but gave Bucky a fleeting look from the corner of her eyes.

"It's so aggravating though. I've spent most of my life fighting against the constrains that society set for me and here I am and even Steve- who I thought would understand the most- is fighting me," she spat. Bucky looked over and sighed.

"Well you can't go down this road like you're driving a truck. You're going down this road on your own two feet, Toni, and it's a long road." There was a pause as she took in what he was saying with a begrudging 'humph'. "At least, though, you know how to shoot a gun. Of course I still don't know why you're using the suppressor. It's knocking your aim off." She gave him a wry grin.

"Nah, I'm just aiming for you. Always miss though..."

"Fuck you," he chuckled. Then Steve walked over.

"Can we talk?" He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. Toni stood and shot Bucky one more teasing look then followed Steve.

He led her a couple hundred feet away from the others and then they stopped. She leaned back against a tree and watched him, waiting for him to say something. He had taken off his helmet and donned his air force sheepskin jacket. Toni found it unfair that he got to look so good when she was supposed to be angry at him.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. Toni just stared with blank eyes and a set jaw. "I shouldn't have-"

"Damn straight you shouldn't have, Steve. If you think you know me even a little then you'll know that every day of my life has been 'no, you're a girl' or 'you can't, you're a lady'. I'm so fucking fed up with it Steve! I'm sorry I fucked up your mission but I can't stay in that camp anymore and watch those men go out and never come back. If you're gonna die then so am I because-" her voice caught, stopping before she could finish. It occurred to her it might have sounded like she was going to say 'because I love you'. She didn't- that was something women said to their men when they wanted something. It was something bigger than that. She trusted him, and he could never know how much that meant to her. "-I can't see you go and not come back. I can't see Bucky go and never return, Steve. I know you know what I'm talking about because you lived it. It's not a feeling I like so put yourself back in the old Steve's shoes and remember that feeling of fear and anger and pain when you were told no." Steve's eyes hadn't left her face for one second, not even after she finished with creased brows and steeled eyes.

"Toni... old Steve never left, I still know that feeling," he whispered. He took a step forward and she stopped him, hand pressed against his chest.

"Then why are you so insistent on me staying at camp?"

"Because every time I lost sight of you in those fights my heart fell, my mind was on overdrive wondering where you went or what happened to you. I still know that feeling because of you, Toni." She let her arm fall limp and drop off his chest. He closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her. She pushed herself up and met his lips with hers.

He was right; she'd definitely broken a rib.

...

"Your father, _Agent_ Stark, is going to cook you up and serve you your high and mighty ass on a _very_ silver platter," Phillips grumbled at the sight of Toni. She flashed him an irritated grin.

"Good, I'm hungry," she shot back. Bucky and Dugan snickered and Steve snorted behind her. Phillips sighed.

"Get in boys... and miss." She glared at him on her way into the back of the truck.

It was about an hour and a half long ride back to camp and Toni spent it sleeping, conked out next to Steve with her head on his shoulder. She hadn't meant to but once the truck started going and Morita, Jones and Falsworth all fell asleep Toni did too. And upon arrival- and a rather rude awakening- at camp, her father was bat shit crazy with anger.

"We couldn't find you! We didn't know if you were dead or alive! Virginia had to lie for you! You put your life at risk and not to mention Steve's and the other Commandos! You were not authorized and I needed you here! Your mother and I are so far beyond disappointed- furious! I'm revoking your right to study with me and you and Virginia are flying home tomo-"

"Howard wait!" Steve called, he'd been the last out of the truck so he was standing behind the rest of the Commandos. Howard's eyes shot to Steve, Peggy's too. "I asked her to come, I thought her knowledge would be valuable in the-"

"Shut up Steve! No he didn't dad. I asked Pepper to keep it quiet and I stowed away in the undercarriage of their transport truck. It was all my idea and any and all punishments should be deferred to me." Howard shot Steve a look and turned back to Toni.

"Go get your things packed, I'm sending you home," He huffed. Bucky stepped forward.

"She saved my life a multitude of times, she helped me rig a factory to explode efficiently, she found designs, plans _and_ maps of HYDRA bunkers- something I would've looked at and ignored- she's an amazing shot and Steve would probably have more than a couple gun wounds without her, I'm pretty sure every man in the Commandos can attest to that," he said. Howard glared at him.

"It doesn't change anything. She's going home."

"Monsieur, she eez zhe best exploseeves coordinator I know now. And she saved my life twice. Gabe et moi owe her a debt, it vould be wrong to not stend oop fur her." Beside the Frenchman, Jones nodded. Peggy grabbed Howard by the arm and pulled him away. Toni turned and mouthed a thank you to the boys then pushed through to Steve.

She looked up at him, sad eyes and dirty face staring at his mutual expression. He chewed the inside of his lip, brow creased over hardened eyes. Toni gave him a weak smile, right corner of her mouth curling up just slightly. The Commandos looked away from them, blocking her from Howard's view should he turn around.

"I'm sorry I jeopardized your mission, but thank you for letting me stay for it," she mumbled quietly. "You'll be alive when this is over right? You'll bring me the Luger when we win?" He didn't know what to say, she would undoubtedly have had to move on from him and even if she hadn't; him returning would mean he'd survived-which he wasn't sure if he would. He nodded weakly.

"Definitely."

"That's your word isn't it, definitely? You use it a lot when you're unsure or excited," she said, trying to laugh a little. "You'll write to me right? Tell me how things are over here. I heard Phillips mention that camp's moving to Belgium soon. Middle of winter and that place is cold as shit so dress warmly and give the Germans hell, right?" He nodded again and then reached out. He froze for a minute and then continued on, running his hand down her hair to her cheek.

"I'll take you to diner when this is all over, a proper dinner in a proper restaurant and then we'll walk through Central Park."  
>"Why?"<p>

"I owe you one, remember? I took you to a lake instead of dinner." She smiled half-heartedly.

"Alright, it's a plan." Then she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

She took the first six steps hesitantly then the next three slowly. She was stopped on her tenth step by Peggy- or by Steve grabbing her arm to spin her around so Peggy could talk to her.

"Antonia!" Her mother called from the front of the gathering. Toni looked over at her, tearing away from Steve's gaze. "Go get cleaned up and then wait for us in your tent. Captain Rogers- Howard, myself and the Colonel would like a mission report please," she instructed. Toni let her hand slide out of Steve's and she walked back to her tent, heart heavy.

...

"Can I say good-bye do you think?" Pepper sighed. Toni shrugged and Pepper bit her lip. "I'm sorry Toni, I know what being here meant to you. And you and Steve were just-" the tent flaps were parted, Peggy and Howard walked in. Howard still looked ticked but Peggy was wearing a soft, weary expression.

"You realize what you did is not only punishable by us but also by a Court Martial _and _you can be sentenced to death by shooting?" Peggy gave Toni a stern look as she spoke, making Pepper curl her legs up and wrap her arms around them. Toni nodded warily. "And you understand that covering it up could put us in danger of Courts Martial as well?" Toni nodded again. "Good, next mission you are to accompany Captain Rogers as an intelligence officer. No questions," Howard raised an eyebrow slowly as Toni rose.

"You aren't joking are you?" Peggy shook her head and then Toni straightened into a salute. "Thank you Agent," she breathed. Peggy nodded.

"That's all, now go relay that to Rogers, you owe him," Peggy finished, turning and ushering Howard out.

Toni turned to Pepper who had a look of disbelief. The two broke out in laughter, Toni doubling over.

"We shouldn't be laughing!" Toni cried. Pepper shook her head.

"Probably not," she laughed back. "You gonna go talk to Steve?" Toni took a breath and nodded. She smiled at Pepper and then exited the tent.

She found Steve out in the woods, in the same place she always laid in when she had nothing else to do. He looked peaceful as he looked up at the branches above. She wandered over to him, being careful not to disturb him. Quietly, she sat down beside him, alerting him to her presence. He looked over.

"Toni?" She nodded, smiling a little.

"Mom talked dad into letting me stay. She said I owe you, what'd you risk to keep me here?" She replied. He stared at her for a moment then sighed and looked back up at the branches.

"I didn't think it would work. I had a whole schpeel about if they sent you home then Howard wouldn't have your balancing mind and the Howling Commandos would be missing their Captain and blah blah blah... it doesn't really matter because you're still here," he said. She curled her lips into each other, trying to force down a far too loving smile.

"Thanks," she murmured, brushing a stray curl of hair off his forehead. He nodded, watching her with warm eyes. He pushed himself forward a little, enough so he could press his lips against hers. She leaned into him, sliding her hand onto the base of his neck and breathing him in. She pushed on him a little and he fell back to the ground, easing herself down with him. Her hair fell around their right side, thick curls cascading down. She pulled up slightly, a smile wide on her face. "Is it bad that you're the first person I've ever really liked to kiss?" She hummed. He cracked a grin and shook his head.

"Only if it's bad that you're the first person I've ever kissed," he replied. She eased back down and they kissed again.

"Think we should get back? I can't have two strikes in one day with my parents," she whispered between kisses. He sighed.

"Alright." Slowly she pulled herself to her feet. She reached out a hand for Steve which he took but avoided putting a lot of pressure on her for fear of flipping her over.

...

It was one mission after another. One factory after another. One bunker after another. She barely had time to relax between helping her father and helping the Commandos, and she almost never had time to see Steve outside of combat. On missions, however, she would pin him against a tree, kissing him hard and fast if the adrenaline hadn't yet worn off or slow and deliberate if it had. And if the mission had gone really well Toni would insist on downtime with the Commandos as a group. They'd set up camp and either wait for pick-up or prepare to head out later. Toni especially enjoyed the raunchy comments Bucky would spew or the excited French from Dernier- something she found herself replying to, after four years with a French tutor- or even the annoyingly endearing teases about Toni and Steve.

Although, if the mission did not go well Toni would get a reprimanding from Steve to which she would snap back with angry one-liners or critiques on his fighting. The others would merely watch; Falsworth, Dernier and Jones with an eyebrow raised and Dugan, Morita and Bucky with smirks. Near the end of a fight Bucky would pipe up with "are mommy and daddy getting a divorce?" or something along those lines and Dugan might say something like "okay, well if Captain Angry Dad and Agent Pissy Mom are done, we've got important shooty-boom-boom things to do." It was the latter that always got Toni fired up. ("Pissy Mom? Do you even want me to start with you, _Dipshit Dugan_?")

But no matter how much they fought or how much they kissed, he always took her out to the lake on the clear nights at camp. And Pepper and Bucky found plenty of time to go dancing, picnicking, enjoy a dinner or just walk together.

On their last mission, Toni found information on a large HYDRA arms and ammunition factory which they would need to take out. It was just north of Bastogne, a location of which the 506th had just faced hell in. Phillips ordered the camp to pack up, they were heading to Belgium. So Toni and Pepper packed their belongings and Toni grabbed her guns. In one solid move the 107th Infantry, the Howling Commandos and the Stark family flew to Belgium on twenty C-47s. They flew south through France and looped back up to their final destination.

Getting off the plane, Toni decided Belgium was not her country. The freezing ice and thick snow repelled her and the prospect of never-ending mud and cold angered her. Steve, Pepper and Bucky heard all about it.

...

"Fuck it's cold out," Bucky puffed, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. Morita shot him a look.

"Shut the fuck up man, you didn't spend six weeks taking shit from Nazi assholes."

"Neither did you Jim!" Bucky countered. Dugan rolled his eyes.

"Girls, girls, both of you are pretty, but neither of you are getting fucked tonight so quit," he snapped, pushing the two apart.

"I beg to differ Dum Dum; we're about to go infiltrate and destroy a HYDRA bunker filled with hundreds of raging Germans. There are seven of us. I'm pretty sure we're getting fucked tonight," Toni piped up with. Bucky gave her a grin which she returned. Dugan gave her a look and sighed.

"Steve, your girl's getting worse than Barnes himself," he called up. Steve chuckled at the head of the group.

"'Your girl?' I'm sorry, who the fuck do you think I am?" She snapped. Dugan turned his head a little and smirked. She smiled.

"Truth be told Toni, I think it's the Germans that are getting fucked tonight," Jones said from the back. Toni was surprised; he never usually got involved with the front's banter, seemed that him and Dernier were slightly quieter than Bucky and herself.

"Shut up, all of you. Down now. We're here, bunker's a hundred yards ahead. We ready?" Steve hissed back at them. They were all low to the ground, watching as armed HYDRA soldiers stood watch by the doors. "Alright; Bucky, Toni you two are first in, get the intel, rig the explosives and get out. Morita, Dugan and Falsworth you're on the three big guys and tanks. And Jones and Dernier, you're with me, there's a house around back with twelve American POWs, we're gonna get them. We all meet up two hundred yards directly behind us. Got it? Good, let's go," Steve instructed. Toni felt an odd sense of excitement every time he gave the order.

Right before they all burst out, as Falsworth and Morita were launching forward, Toni grabbed Steve by the neck of his uniform. She kissed him on the cheek and pushed him back a little.

"No losing that Luger," she murmured and bolted.

None of them made it ten feet before the guards were screaming a command that Toni barely made out.

"_Blow it! Light it up!_" She wished she didn't know German. There was something valuable inside and they were going to blow up the entire bunker, every living soul inside along with it, to keep the intel away from them.

"Kapitän verdammt Amerika Arschlöcher HYDRA," she breathed and picked up her pace. They blew it before she could stop them. And, in horror, she realized she was in the blast radius. Well within it.

She felt the explosion in her bones, the fire licking up her arms. It was a haze really, the blast and the moments leading up to her black out. Bliss settled in her mind, surprisingly, before her eyes slid closed; she was thinking of Pepper and Steve and her parents and Bucky and everything that she'd accomplished. _You'll be in the history books one day_, her mind purred as she faded.

But she was still there. Just a little. She was barely there enough to see a blurry Bucky hovering over her, scooping her up. Her hearing was awful, a ringing in her ears loud enough to break all the windows in Notre Dame. Somehow through the ringing she heard Morita screaming something into the radio they'd dropped a little ways back. He had an arm on the giant box and was screaming words, things she could barely make out, into it.

"NO! WE'RE FACING ENEMY FIRE AND THE FUCKING BUNKER EXPLODED! I DON'T FUCKING CARE, JUST GET US A RIDE OUT, WE HAVE A SEVERE INJURY!" Toni blinked slowly. Was the sky spinning or was that just her? She hadn't even noticed, until she barely made out Morita screaming it, the enemy fire but as Bucky leapt over a log and took cover she noticed it. She heard Steve's voice. Was he screaming her name? What was that? Then his face swam into view.

"Toni! Fucking shit! Morita is the truck on its way?" There was a pause as he looked away. "Then let's go! Come on!" He yelled, picking Toni up. She realized that she'd never heard Steve swear and it was a little shocking. They were running, Bucky tailing closely. She couldn't stop staring at Steve. Was she worrying them, being blank like she was? Should she be screaming? She opened her mouth to speak.

"Priva-" and then the screams came. The pain flooded over her like the ocean tides. Something in her chest was burning and it hurt like hell. Anything that could stop it, death even, would have been okay with her. If it made the pain go away then it'd all be okay.

"Toni! Toni hold on!" She heard Rogers shout over her wailing. She tried to force back the pain, clamping down on her tongue but she only recognized that she bit a hole in it from the blood that filled her mouth. She was moaning now, attempting to keep from screaming more. Tears were trailing down her cheek and she hated it, hated that she was being a burden. Her job was to be a Commando, not to be their luggage. She let out another scream as Steve leapt over a fallen tree. The landing hurt like fuck.

This wasn't dying; dying was supposed to be easy, like slipping into a pool. No, this was torture. Even if it ended in death, it wouldn't ever be death because she was still there, consciously delirious and in pain beyond anything she'd ever known. Maybe equal to that that Steve faced in his procedure. Probably worse.

"Steve!" She heard Bucky cry. Then there was a prick in her arm which she didn't notice.

She blacked out slowly, put to sleep by a syrette and a half of morphine. Her last image was Steve and Bucky hovering over her as they were loading into the truck. She wanted to smile, now that pain was subsiding and calm was filling her up.

The serenity was broken when she woke up moaning and groaning. She vaguely recognized that they were in the back of the truck still but they weren't moving, it hurt too much to notice anything else. She gasped and clawed at her chest, a sharp, angry and very acute pain centered by her sternum taunted her. She thought she heard Steve shout something in the distance.

It felt like hours, days, of screaming and clawing before she could scream out the word 'morphine' and thrust a jerky hand out at Jones. She screamed the word one more time before Morita fumbled to pull out a syrette and slide it into her arm. The red in her vision faded to the edges and she took a painful, shaky breath that made her gasp and then grit her teeth.

"Another," she growled.

"Toni, a grown man can barely take two but you, you're-"

"Do it!" She barked. Morita pulled out his last syrette and administered its dose. She took a more even, numbed breath and felt her brain, fuzzy as it now was, kick into overdrive. Suddenly there was a low yelp and Steve's face was hovering over hers.

"Did you dislocate my arm you asshole?! Nevermind, is Toni okay?" She heard Bucky cry. Toni's eyes took a moment to focus on Steve's.

"Are you okay? You shouldn't have taken that much morphine. Do you know what happened?" He breathed. Jones, Morita and Dernier hopped out the truck. She shook her head. "You were caught in an explosion, I think the factory contained some important information and they blew it before we could get in. Except for you, somehow you got close. We think some shrapnel from a tank got imbedded in your chest. They're going to fly you back to England and have surgeons remove it," he told her. She shook her head.

"Not enough time. They won't be able to get me on- gah!- a plane soon enough to get me into..." she trailed off, clutching at her chest again to find purchase. She felt the rough weave of bandaging around her torso. "Did you have to...?" She mumbled, flicking her gaze down to her chest. His blue eyes widened and his cheeks reddened.

"No one else... I didn't even really..." he muttered. She shook her head, wanting to laugh if the situation was different.

"Can you pick me up? I don't think I can walk," she continued after a pause. He nodded. "Take me to the lab. Bucky!" She paused, cringing as pain washed over her. A third morphine syrette would probably make that go away but she couldn't risk the loss of her mind. "Bucky, I need you too." Bucky fell in beside the two as Toni murmured a thank you to the other Commandos.

"What'dya need Stark?" He asked, supporting his left arm. She took a breath, shaky and sounding desperate for air.

"I need... I need you to go to my quarters. In the upper l-left drawer of my dresser is some tools and little parts. I need them all. And get me another morphine syrette, I want another half," she instructed.

"Toni we can't risk giving you that much morphine," Steve interrupted.

"Shut up Steve! I know what I can take!" She cried, feeling the pain take control of her emotions. She felt slightly guilty at his kicked puppy look. "Just take me to the lab quickly."

Bucky split off and went to the house that the Starks and Commandos had taken up residence in. Steve and herself continued on to the expansive German bunker that had now become H.Q. and the lab space. Steve kicked up the door and rushed past the confused onlookers. Then Peggy looked up from the radio that she was sending a press speech on. She dropped the speaker and shot to her feet.

"Toni!" She shouted. Howard's head poked out from the labs.

"Toni!" He echoed. Steve pushed past Peggy and set Toni down in a chair by a work bench.

"What happened? Are you alright?" Peggy questioned. Toni waved her off.

"An... explosion... nothing to... worry about..." she felt like her lungs were shriveling up and dying. "Dad, the plans for the... that arc reactor we... we were planning. I need it..." she wheezed. Howard, understanding the severity of the situation, rushed off to the corner of the lab and searched through the blueprints.

"Captain Rogers, mission report _now_," Peggy ordered, pulling Steve aside.

"Not now mother... I need you both... too much. Steve, where's Bucky? Mother, I need those soldering tools... over there and- FUCK WHERE IS JAMES?!" She screamed, feeling another wave of sharp, spasming pain.

"Right here," he answered, turning the corner and dropping the stuff on the table. Toni took a breath and tried to calm herself.

"Alright, mother, the prototype ring for the reactor. Can you get... get on putting together the outer ring? Bucky... Bucky put... put... morphine..." she felt herself slipping. Whatever was in her chest had nicked her lungs and she knew it. It burned. He nodded and uncapped another syrette. He squeezed half its contents into her arm. "All of it," she breathed in relief.

"NO! Toni that will kill you!" Steve intervened, slamming his hand down on the worktable.

"FUCK OFF! I NEED THIS STEVE! I FUCKING NEED THIS!" She screamed back. Howard and Peggy glanced at Toni but neither said anything. "Father... dad..." She huffed, realizing she was clawing at her chest again. Howard was by the worktable in an instant, prototype reactor ring in his hand. "I need you to... I'll start on the reactor and I need you to make the magnetic casing that will hold it in... in my chest," she continued. He nodded.

"You and I agreed last time we tried this that it's impossible Toni. I want it to work as much as you do but we can't rely on this. We should get you on a plane," he said, grabbing a spool of copper coils and a blow torch.

"No, I trust this. Bucky finish the morphine. Steve, trust me please. I need you to trust me. Will you go find Pepper? I need her too," she breathed. Steve sighed and turned without a word.

...

A medic was at her side, fussing over her burns with a paste from a white tube and furrowed brows. Every so often she'd wince and jerk away, feeling the paste making the stinging worse. It aggravated her that the medic was trying to fix her with at that exact moment

At the other work table was her father assembling the last bits of the reactor. Her hands had started to grow numb, numb enough that she'd had to push herself away from the work and let Pepper hold her hand. She could feel her fingers shaking as the pain traced its way through her chest.

The medic did something, she didn't know what, to the oozing burns on her arm and neck that made the burn flare with a new wave of pain. She jerked completely away.

"I'm doing fine with morphine!" She snapped. The boy shrunk back and Pepper gave Toni a look.

"We really need to-"

"Stop fucking with my injuries, I'll be fine," she finished, shooing him.

Toni looked back up at her father, who was watching her with furrowed brows and an upset expression.

Her father had been an advisor in the Manhattan Project, his knowledge of the nuclear machine was unparalleled and every bit of it Toni was grateful for. She was grateful for his knowledge, for his application, for his drive. She hadn't realized it before, when they'd originally planned the reactor, but the machine would have been impossible if Howard had walked away for a split second.

The machine couldn't be impossible anymore. It had to be real.

...

"The casing's done? Any headway on the reactor?" Her father nodded so Toni reached over to pick up the brightly glowing blue topped cylinder, a complicated mess of wires and light. Pepper, Bucky and Peggy stood nervously around the girl genius.

"I think..." she couldn't finish, glancing to see if any of the syrettes on the table would maybe have any numbing agent left in them. "Are the surgeons ready?" Bucky nodded. "Get Steve. And the rest of you, go get the medics please." Pepper furrowed her brow and ran a hand over Toni's shoulders as she left.

Steve walked into the lab room, warily. Toni found herself grateful that even her father respected her subtle cue for a moment with Steve. He looked miserable.

"I'll be fine right... just invented a feat of science so even if I won't be, at least history will... remember me," she murmured. Steve shook his head.

"Stop. You're going to be fine," he snapped. She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm a realist Steve. Did I have any chance at all? From the very beginning you should've been anticipating my death." He shook his head again, almost childlike. She felt her chest burning, more than ever and it made her suddenly very aware of her state. She was clammy, covered in sweat from her injury, and there were dark bags under her eyes. "Why not?" She shouted, feeling something warm and wet trail down her cheek. Was she crying?

"Because you're Toni, you've saved me dozens of times. You can't die." The two paused, her heart beating weakly as she took shallow, forced breaths.

"I'm about... about to go into surgery that might kill me, can you... do one thing for me?" He nodded reluctantly. "Be a pessimist," she whispered. He gave her a look, pained and almost angry.

"That work wasn't for nothing Toni. You built a nuclear power plant for your heart. I can't be a pessimist when I know you're going to come out of the room alive and better than ever." He turned and left the room with a moment's hesitation, glancing back at her from the doors.

...

As she surfaced, groggy and feeling a tightness in her chest, she realized something was gripping her hand. She looked over to see a sleeping Steve. Somehow through the blurriness, she made out the bags under his eyes and the grease in his hair- obviously he hadn't left her side since she exited the procedure. Not wanting to stir him from his clearly needed sleep, she just laid as she was and watched him.

Toni discovered, then, that Steve Rogers was the lightest sleeper she'd met. She'd adjusted herself slightly which somehow woke the super soldier. With a sharp intake of breath, Steve's eyes opened and he looked over. It took him a quick moment to realize that Toni was staring back at him with an apologetic expression. He leaned forward.

"Hey," he murmured. Toni closed her eyes at his voice. Suddenly his hand was on her cheek. "Hey, are you okay? What's wrong?" She shook her head and gripped his hand tighter. She could feel the burns throbbing and she wanted to smother herself.

"Nothing..." Steve took up his seat once more and let her gather her thoughts. "I just didn't think..." She paused once more. She wanted to say she didn't think the surgery would work. She wanted to say that she wished the surgery hadn't worked so her pain would go away. She wanted to say she thought the surgery would fail and she'd drift off- with plenty of morphine running through her- into a blissful never-ending sleep. But she didn't, because Steve was Steve and he wouldn't want to hear that. "...That the plan would actually work," she finished. He gave her a small smile.

"You're a genius. Your father said he doesn't know how you did it," he whispered. Toni glanced down at her chest, underneath a large PT t-shirt was a glowing blue wheel of light. A gasp hitched in her throat. "Hey, really Toni... are you sure that everything's fine? You seem off," he murmured. She shook her head but it was unconvincing. For her, the only thing that was pushing her forwards was Steve. His smile, the curve of his eyebrows when he looked concerned and admittedly his muscles. There wasn't much between her and the slip into a painless end. And God did she want painless.

"I'm really okay," she whispered back. He slipped his hand from hers and laid it gently on her cheek, running his thumb back and forth.

The curtain to the corner of the lab flew open and Bucky came over, making Steve jump away from Toni. Toni looked up at the sergeant with a tired smile. He flashed her a grin and dropped onto the foot of her cot. Carefully, he slapped a hand down on her blanket-covered ankle.

"Still alive, Stark?" He questioned._ No._ Toni slipped her hand back into Steve's and nodded. Bucky. She'd forgotten she had friends, someone other than Steve and Pepper who genuinely liked her.

"Unfortunately. I mean, if I hadn't then I'd be abandoning Steve to dealing with you... alone," she teased. Bucky's grin grew, and then he glanced at Toni and Steve's hands.

"Was I interrupting a moment?" Toni sneered.

"Not that you'd know what those are, Jerk." Bucky looked over to Steve and smirked. Toni pushed herself forward, to which Steve practically leapt out of his seat at.

"Toni, are you sure you should be doing that?" He blurted. She gave him a wry grin and glanced at Bucky, a spark in her eye.

"Where's Pepper? And my parents?" She asked, after briefly running a finger over the reactor in her chest. Bucky nodded towards the curtain.

"Pepper's asleep on your pencil-pusher desk and your mother's out on a mission-"

"She didn't want to leave but Phillips really needed her to run the mission, so your father's out manning the radio. He asked us to be here for when you woke up," Steve finished.

"Can you go get Peps, I want to see her," Toni mumbled. Bucky gave her a small smile and left. She turned to Steve who was still holding her hand- on the verge of crushing it. His grip on her hand took away from the pain her burns slightly.

"Toni, I don't think you should push yourself. Honestly, I think you should just stay here today and relax." She nodded, again running her finger around the rim of her feat of science. Steve gave her a moment, just watching her, to think and process. Finally she let her hand fall back to her side and he tilted his head a little. "What are you thinking?" She shrugged half-heartedly and ran a hand through her matted hair.

"How disgusting my hair is," she murmured. Steve smirked and reached out for a strand. The singed ends made him sigh.

"Well, Pepper got most off the blood out last night while you were still unconscious but it's still pretty greasy," he replied, twirling the piece between his fingers. She smiled at him; at least he could tell her that truth.

Even though his hair was as greasy as hers- if not more- carding her hand up through the back of his hair felt calming... felt natural. And when she kissed him it felt even more calming.

The curtains opened so quietly, that neither heard it and only parted when Toni gently pulled away a few seconds later. When she looked up, she was met with the face of someone she hadn't seen since the war began. He was tall, dark skinned and had a friendly expression. _Rhodey_.

There was a momentary pause as she processed that her childhood friend had just seen her kiss Steve Rogers. The man whom she'd once told when she was a teen that if she had to marry someone she'd marry herself or him. Her finger was suddenly back to circling the rim of the reactor.

"What are you doing here Rhodey?" She asked, staring at him wide-eyed.

"I got news that some dame had gone off and crashed a Howling Commandos mission. Obviously I knew it was you, but when I heard you... Well I had a forty-eight hour pass so I thought I'd come check on you," he answered, a kind smile spreading across his lips. Toni gathered herself and nodded.

"You know I appreciate it," she replied. She cleared her throat and glanced at Steve. "This is Steven Rogers, Captain America. He and Sergeant Barnes were there- along with the other Commandos- when I got caught in the explosion." Rhodes's expression momentarily faded into shock and confusion but almost immediately after returned to normal. He outstretched a hand to shake, cap under his arm.

"Captain Rogers, it's an honor to meet you," Rhodes said. Toni looked over at Steve, smiling.

"Steve, this is Colonel James Rhodes. I met him years ago when he and his father became the weapons liaison between Stark Industries and the Air Force." The words came as naturally to Toni as ever, which surprised her.

Rhodey stepped back and leaned back against the wall, swinging his cap back on.

"Where's Pepper?" He asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"On her way. Buck went to go get her. Bucky's the Sergeant that Steve risked his scrawny little Private butt to go rescue." Steve tipped his head.

"And yet she constantly risks her life to get maps from a bunker. I question your argument daily," Steve grumbled. The curtain opened then and Toni remembered that Bucky had said she'd been at Toni's desk... she found herself questioning what took so long.

Pepper's flashy orange hair caught the light as she spun to see Rhodes standing across from herself and next to her ailed friend. Shock was written across her face. Bucky's hand slid onto her shoulder.

"Peps?" He murmured. She shook her head, reassuring Bucky that she was fine.

"James Rhodes? Is that you?" She asked. Bucky's hand eased off her shoulder and he moved over behind Steve. The Colonel nodded.

"It's really been a while hasn't it?" He replied. Pepper nodded and she slipped over to Toni, resting a hand on her friend's ankles.

The pained jerked at her again and she wanted to grab at something and break it or dig her nails into her palms, but doing so would alert Steve, so instead she tried for humor

"Quite the reunion. Touching really, but seriously guys... I have a nuclear power plant in my chest. I'm a machine now. Can I be Agent Robot? Or maybe The Robot Commando?" She interjected. Rhodey cracked a smile and Pepper just rolled her eyes.

"I dunno, The Howling Robot sounds better to me, but that's just a personal opinion," Bucky muttered. Toni snickered.

"Looks like I'll be needing a new uniform; Antonia 'Howling Robot' Stark." Pepper hopped up on the foot of the cot and reached out for Bucky's hand, which he walked over to take. There was a moment of silence as Pepper and Bucky gave each other an affectionate look and Toni and Steve ended up glancing at each other, laughing quietly to themselves. The Colonel cleared his throat.

"To be honest, I knew you'd find someone eventually, Toni, but I never would've guessed that Captain America would be that someone." Pepper laughed loudly to which both Steve and Bucky jumped at, eyes like startled house cats'.

"You should've seen her in the beginning. Never expect a Stark to be romantic, it's all 'I hate him!' and then 'dance with me?' and then 'yeah, we kissed in the woods last night'," Pepper cackled. Bucky glanced at Steve and Toni.

"In the woods? Steven Rogers, you have truly shown your colors!" Bucky cried. Steve's smile faded, his face turning pink and let his face fall into the covers by Toni's hip. She let her hand fall onto the back of his head and for once all the pain disappeared. Steve's face buried in her covers and the silence of the room and her hand in his hair made everything go away. It was like she was in a half-conscious world.

Pepper sighed and stood.

"We'll let you rest, come on Rhodey, we can show you around. Don't worry, the Stark's not going anywhere for a while."

...

Steve's voice was like a dose of morphine. Every word he said, especially when he let her name roll of his tongue, was like having a half syrette shot up her arm. His hand in hers kept her grounded and the way the skin around his eyes crinkled when he smiled was a five hundred pound anchor.

"The doctor said the burns shouldn't leave too big of a mark," he murmured. It was out of the left field. So much so that she was visibly shocked. He gave her a weak smile. "You've been in and out of your personality all afternoon Toni. You may think I wouldn't notice but I caught it right away." She stared blankly at him.

"Every second is like a knife digging at my skin. The reactor hurts and the area that the casing replaced feels wrong. I keep feeling like my lungs are filling with fluid and I can feel the path that the shrapnel cut, Steve," She breathed. He sighed and tilted his head a little, a pained expression washing across his features. Emotions started bubbling over and she felt her fists clenching. _Why is it I can't do anything right? I finally get what I want and it practically kills me._ "I don't want to live my life in pain. I hate myself for being so stupid and I don't want to be like this," she mumbled. Steve slipped his hand back into hers and she felt rage surface. _Why did I get punished for trying to help my country? Why am I burned for trying to save lives?_ Tears streaked their way down her cheeks.

Surprise fell over Steve Roger's face. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his embrace.

For the first time, crying felt right. The tears and the pain and the anger and the fear felt real and she wanted to harbor them and nurture them. What should've made her want to rip her very being apart, now made her feel like a normal human being. Steve's arms around her, holding her good cheek to his shoulder, was like a breath of fresh air and the tears came freely. Her fears rolling off her tongue faster than ever. And Steve listened.

_I don't want to be in pain._ But you'll never have to because he'll be there._ But why would you?_ We're already in the ring of fire, why not dance further? _Can I just die? Will life give me a break?_ Be a realist? Let him learn from you, you'll live on. _Why stay with me? Why love me if I just hurt you all? _"Because we're stupid. Because we're passionate. Maybe because we're crazy, but we love you."

_But we love you_.

His voice cut at her. Cut at her in a good way. It dug into her brain and made itself a home. Her last question was swallowed back. _How can you love _me_?_ He loved her and that's all she needed. Her tears subsided and she closed her eyes.

After a time, she scooted to the edge of her cot and popped the rail down so she was hanging off the edge slightly, then pulled Steve up beside her.

"I'm tired and I don't know why. Sleep here please," she mumbled. He nodded.

"I need a wall for my demons, and so do you," he replied. She curled up into his side, feeling weak but complete.

"Then be mine and I'll be yours."


End file.
